What It's All About

For a long time, I've been meaning to write about what it is exactly that I'm doing here in Cambodia. But it turns out that it's not so easy to describe in just a few paragraphs. Being a Volunteer is its own little world, and to describe it, I need to talk about some of the philosophy behind the Peace Corps, which can't be that interesting to you all and also makes me feel self-conscious because it's so....self-promoting?

But I can't let this all go unsaid any longer. After all, it is the very reason that I am here, and it is what I have really, REALLY been doing these last 9 months (even though it looks like I've just been taking a lot of vacations and trying desperately to amuse myself).

So. What is it, exactly, that I'm doing? The first answer is that I'm an English co-teacher at a rural Cambodian high school. That hopefully, with support from me, my co-teachers will improve their English and their teaching methods and my students will improve their English. And that I, along with the other Volunteers, will develop low-cost student-centered Cambodia-specific English teaching materials for future use by Volunteers and Cambodian teachers.

But that is just the beginning. And here's where the Peace Corps philosophy comes into play and I get a little squirmy. In theory, Volunteers integrate themselves into a community by learning the language, working with an existing local organization or government office, and (in our cases) living with a host family. We do this to be effective at our jobs and also to gain trust within the community. Once we have gained that trust, we are, working with the community itself, to analyze and try to meet our community's other needs, be they health needs, infrastructure needs (God forbid), knowledge needs, sanitation needs, agricultural needs, etc. We are not to do this on our own, because as outsiders (despite our integration), we are not as familiar with our community as the insiders (duh). And because any projects to meet the needs of the community will fail if they do not have community support (also duh).

So. We are not only engaged in our primary activity (English teaching) but also engaged in facilitating positive changes in our communities (squirminess level increasing...).

In addition (you thought this couldn't go on any longer, didn't you?), we are supposed to be loci of cross-cultural exchange. We are to introduce host-country nationals (HCNs) to some aspects of American culture, and to introduce Americans to some aspects of our host country's culture. (These are known as Peace Corps Goals 2 and 3, Goal 1 being what I described above, to provide technically trained Volunteers to host countries to build the host countries' own capacities in certain fields.)

This part can actually be a lot of pressure. We're the only direct contact many Cambodians have with Americans, and we don't want our own country to be perceived poorly based on our behavior. And because Cambodian culture is more conservative than American culture, we (especially the women) have to be careful how we dress, what we drink, what we say. That is why I have attempted not to write anything controversial in this blog. If any of my Cambodian colleagues were to read a negative comment I made about some aspect of teaching in Cambodia, it would undermine their trust of me. (This may be why I've said very little about teaching, period: it's hard to separate my acceptable thoughts from my controversial ones. What I can say is that overall, teaching is fantastic. There are minor irritants and institutionalized quirks, but the general practice of helping young people learn gives me warm fuzzies.)

When you put it all together, we Volunteers are supposed to be teachers, development workers, and cultural ambassadors (squirminess level approaching red...). How much of this happens in practice and not just theory, I have no idea. There's plenty of time for me to find out: I have nearly 2 school years left before I am finished here.

Now you know more than you ever wanted to about the Peace Corps, but I hope it gives you a better picture of what I'm doing, or trying to do.

Finally, altogether, in conclusion, to sum it all up, I just want to say that some days are hard and some days are easy and some days are in between. But what has so far distinguished my time here is the vividness with which the bad days suck and the good days shine. And in the end, that is what Cambodia has given to me, and why I don't give up on the ideal of being so many different things at once.