Confused in Cambodia

Over my 7 months of being a stranger in Cambodia, I've come to learn that introductions are just Not Done. The only reason I can think of that could explain this is that most people already know everybody else in their family, neighborhood, and workplace: if you live in the same village long enough, no one is a stranger. Kids grow up with neighbors and cousins, and have never not known their names and relationships. So when a complete stranger comes onto the scene, perhaps it doesn't occur to Cambodians to introduce her to the long-time inhabitants. I find myself struggling when a neighbor I've never seen before will emerge from our kitchen, knowing my name and asking how I am; I need to judge, based on gender and apparent age (note: ages are deceptive here), whether I should address them as "Uncle" or "Little Sister" or "Grandmother."

The one time I really had a chance to do a great job with an introduction was when I first met my Cambodian co-teacher while I was still in training. Back in my training village, when I noticed that Cambodians struggled to pronounce my name, I asked my training host family to give me a Khmer name. Since they called me "Lih" (the Z at the end being the sticking point), they gave me the Khmer name Malys (pronounced "ma-LIH"), which is also the name of a white flower. Unaware of the significance of the breathy H at the end, I introduced myself to my permanent-site co-teacher as Maly (pronounced "ma-LEE"), which has no special meaning but is a fairly common name (my co-teacher's wife is also named Maly). This version of my name is now set in stone in my permanent site. I don't know what lesson can be learned from this. Maybe I just need to accept that in Cambodia, it's more important that people call me "Big Sister" or "Teacher" than that they call me any particular name. And of course, if all else fails, they can just call me "Barang."